I read an article in Cosmo the other day that was talking about women being 'relationship virgin's' or RV's as they lovingly referred to them. They were telling women it was okay to never have been in a serious relationship before. I totally agreed! The article continues on and tells you all these facts about women and how just like men, they too have commitment issues! Great, another way that we are equal with men, right? Awesome. This article also got me thinking of girls my age and just virginity in general. I, myself being a virgin, was sitting with a friend that I knew to not be a virgin. I got to thinking, I wonder how many other girls my age are still virgins? Am I the only virgin left in the the WORLD? Are virgin's an endangered species? Am I at the top of a list somewhere, the list for ENDANGERED VIRGINS? After contemplating those question's for a healthy 2 seconds, I quickly made the assumption that I indeed was not the last virgin(hopefully!) and that there was no list. The matter dropped and I continued to read my Cosmo.
The last few days I've been coming back to this topic in my head. I was laying in bed last night pondering this question(how many girls my age are virgins) and I quickly was beginning to realize how many girls I know that weren't virgins. I know plenty of popped-cherry bitches, that I love, but only a small handful of virgins! I began wondering, was it weird to be a virgin? Should I actively start trying to lose my virginity? Will a guy decide he doesn't like me because I'm a virgin? Will I ever lose my virginity? I started feeling really down about myself. I felt like I was missing out on something that everyone else always talked about. So, being the inquisitive person I am, I had to find some answers to these questions. Based on an article I read here and here, the average age for a girl in the United States to lose her virginity is between 16-17 years old. This actually shocked me, because I know plenty of girls WAY younger than that that are getting it on, but I guess it is an average. This didn't really make me feel any better, because here I am, 17 and STILL a virgin! After reading this the first time, it kind of made me think like a woman about to go through the ever foreboding 'change'. My time's running out, I'm going to be 18 soon! Instead of worrying about if I was going to be able to have children, I began fretting about going onto that endangered list; the one specifically for virgins that were 18+! I was genuinely worried... for about 10 minutes! I started thinking about, do I really want to lose my virginity? Do I love anyone right now? Do I want to chance starting a family at 17? And, do I seriously want to sit down with my mother and tell her I need birth control because I'm going to try and lose my virginity with someone, I don't know who, but someone? The answer ended up being an overwhelming no! I was raised Christian and was always taught that sex was something that happened after marriage to someone you loved. While I find this very ideal, I know that in this modern world not many people still have this viewpoint. And while I don't care what others do with their lives, as long as it doesn't affect me personally, I've always hoped to find someone that would value this "rule" as much as I do. After coming to the conclusion that I'm content with being a virgin, I then began wondering, if you can't tell I wonder A LOT, how many other girls are thinking about losing their virginity because they think it's weird or abnormal to still be a virgin? How many girls have lost their virginity when they were absolutely not ready too, because they were peer-pressured into it by someone who told her she had to or else (insert anything that someone might say to get into a girl's pants)? I became enraged for these girls(and myself)! How dare someone ever make another person feel bad about being a virgin?! How dare anyone ever coerce another person into having sex if they aren't ready! But it happens. Everyday someone is talked into losing their virginity by another person who probably couldn't care less about them. It's upsetting to me, and I'm here to say to all these girl's that I'm sorry this happened, and to all the girls who are thinking of 'doing it' just to get it over with, or to not be 'weird' anymore: DON'T DO IT UNLESS YOU ARE POSITIVE YOU WANT TOO. Don't let someone else talk you into it. You are the only one that can and should make that decision! So, Virgin's, be proud. Don't feel ashamed about something that EVERYONE is born with! You're not weird, abnormal, a freak, or a prude because you're a virgin. Someday soon, or not so soon, you will find someone! You'll know if they're the one to give your most precious gift too. When that day will come for me, I don't know, but I can only hope that it will be with someone whom I love and want to spend the rest of my life with, and if that ends up not being the case... oops! love, xomeghan |