I am not my gender. Yes, I am a female. Yes, I do have two breasts and a vagina. Yes, I realize that some of you are highly uncomfortable with what I just said, and this, yes all of this, is okay.
I am the youngest of three children. Chronologically true.
I was supposed to be a twin. Weirdly true.
I am female. Genetically true.
I am treated differently than any man I will ever come into contact with. Statistically proven and true.
I was supposed to be a twin. Weirdly true.
I am female. Genetically true.
I am treated differently than any man I will ever come into contact with. Statistically proven and true.
The first time that I realized that girls and boys were not treated equally was when I was ten years old. This is the prime age of adolescence and hormonal imbalances, as well as the start of independence from your parents. I had just started fifth grade at a new school where nobody really liked me, so I actually only had a couple friends there. Anyways, I had gotten my public library card that year too, and I wanted to go check out some books and return others, but I was told I couldn't by my parents. The library was literally a three minute bike ride or a five minute walk, so it wasn't too far for me to go alone. It wasn't because of the weather, and it wasn't because I was too young to do this by myself either.
Being the ever so cheeky child that I was, and knowing that my brother had always been a little favored, I retorted with, "But you'd let him do it!" As I simultaneously pointed at my brother. I know, it sounds like the stereotypical little sister thing to do, but to be honest, my brother is a year older than me! Strangers used to think we were twins, so naturally my mom's reply of, "He's older," hurt off the bat, but what came after is what really got under my skin,"and a boy." It was because I wasn't a boy. It was because I was a girl. | "Strangers used to think we were twins, so naturally my mom's reply of, "He's older," hurt off the bat, but what came after is what really got under my skin,"and a boy." |
I thought she was gonna say, "and I don't want you to get kidnapped." Hell, that was my mom's catch-phrase! Now it's, "I don't want you to get kidnapped, and then turned into a sex-slave by those sex-traffickers that enslave and sex traffic nearby; I think I saw one at the end of the driveway sexing and trafficking-- WaTcH oUt fOr SEx TraFFiCKiNg." Not even joking; it's her catch phrase.
Needless to say, I fought my mom hard to ride my bike to the library, and anywhere for that matter, alone because it didn't matter if I was a girl, in my opinion, then and now. However, younger Meghan was a lot less agile with using rhetorical arguments though, so my mom won the battle just like she had every other time.
Needless to say, I fought my mom hard to ride my bike to the library, and anywhere for that matter, alone because it didn't matter if I was a girl, in my opinion, then and now. However, younger Meghan was a lot less agile with using rhetorical arguments though, so my mom won the battle just like she had every other time.
It took me until this argument, at ten, to finally put it all together. Because I was a girl, I wasn't allowed to play youth football, so I was a cheerleader instead; Because I was a girl, I wasn't allowed to play baseball, so I played softball instead; Because I was a girl, I wasn't allowed to ride my bike to the library, so I had to bring my brother with me instead. My mom had never made the clarification before that her decision was gender oriented, or at least I had never cognitively been aware of such comments, until this last instance. | "I am a girl. I am allowed to do everything that boys my age can do." |
I am a girl. I am not allowed to do some of the same things that boys my age can do.
At least this is what I was supposed to learn from this experience. You see, this was one of the first lessons that my parents, as well as society, tried to teach me that didn't stick. There were others, like cleaning regularly and being on time to things that also didn't stick, but this was the first one that I decided not to learn. I decided early on that I wasn't going to let my gender affect me. That's what I mean when I say that I am not my gender. I am not defined to a certain role in society based on my gender. I may not have a penis, but that doesn't mean that I can't do the same things men do. Just like men not having vaginas doesn't mean that they can't do the same things, that I and other women do. I am not my gender when I like cars and how they work. I am not my gender when I'm interested in business and wanting to be a CEO. I am not my gender when I like science. I am not my gender when I am into engineering. I am not my gender when I want to be President of the United States. I'm actually not interested, or am I any of these kind of women but the first one (guilty of liking cars) and that's okay, but for the few and growing that are these wonderful and empowering women, I give you praise. You are the ones giving a voice to the other young girls that might feel pressure to hide who they are. This is what we should be telling girls:
I am a girl. I am allowed to do everything that boys my age can do.
This would be a truly inspiring thing to see throughout the world someday. Girls being taught that they aren't inferior and that they be allowed all of the same privileges as men. Let's stop stigmatizing gender and realizing that we are not our gender at all. Gender does not hold us accountable at the end of the day. Gender does not define our character. Gender does not know discrimination, but WE do. WE make ourselves accountable at the end of the day. WE make the decisions that define our character. WE know how to discriminate, and WE know how to stop it.
I am not my gender, are you?
As Always,
xomeghan
P.s.
Sex Trafficking is a real and serious thing that should not be taken lightly. I have hyperbolized my mother and am not trying to make fun of it or anyone who has been a victim.