I am sorry that I asked if I could help you today and I couldn’t. I am sorry that my courage failed and all I could get out was, “Have a good night!” I am sorry that I let you walk away from me thinking you were so small and yet so big all at the same time.
You and your grandma walked into my store an hour or so before closing. “Hi, how are you guys tonight?” was my standard greeting. According to your grandma, you guys were doing well and looking for an outfit, unfortunately, for a funeral. Immediately I could see that all was not well for you and I knew why when your grandma started poking, proding, and pulling at the dress that was currently pulled against your belly. Your grandma continued to tell me that you had to wear this dress because you didn’t fit in any other, but that it was not appropriate for a funeral and, “Doesn’t fit her fat belly!” I agreed that it was not a usual color for funeral attire and disregarded the comment about you being fat. My first mistake of many. My manager and I proceeded to bring you clothing in what seemed like appropriate styles and size.
You and your grandma walked into my store an hour or so before closing. “Hi, how are you guys tonight?” was my standard greeting. According to your grandma, you guys were doing well and looking for an outfit, unfortunately, for a funeral. Immediately I could see that all was not well for you and I knew why when your grandma started poking, proding, and pulling at the dress that was currently pulled against your belly. Your grandma continued to tell me that you had to wear this dress because you didn’t fit in any other, but that it was not appropriate for a funeral and, “Doesn’t fit her fat belly!” I agreed that it was not a usual color for funeral attire and disregarded the comment about you being fat. My first mistake of many. My manager and I proceeded to bring you clothing in what seemed like appropriate styles and size.
"I knew exactly how you felt. Growing up, I was nothing but my weight when shopping and sometimes when not..." | I pulled one of my managers aside and told her of your grandma’s blatant lack of tact and complete disregard for your feelings with tear-filled eyes. I had just listened to your grandma rant about your mother and her lack of competency about your weight and I couldn’t take it. I knew exactly how you felt. Growing up, I was nothing but my weight when shopping and sometimes when not. I asked my manager what to do, and she just told me to ignore her and focus on you. |
Every outfit you came out in you rocked! I really liked the black one with bright flowers on it, but your grandma didn’t. I told you to pick which one you liked the best, because you had to wear it. Unfortunately, your grandma snuck her way into your fitting room and convinced you to pick the black and purple one that she liked.
As I watched you slunk to the counter to pay for your dress, I could tell that this was how a ‘fun’ trip with grandma usually went. The saddest part was that you didn’t even bat an eye at her comments, as if they were a regular occurrence. My heart broke for you. There were so many things I wanted to do and say, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t know if I could say anything to your grandma without losing her business for my store. I didn’t know how I would try and pay car insurance without a job, if I got fired somehow for saying anything. I didn’t know how I was ever going to apologize to you for not having the courage to say something to her regardless of my situation, when I could so clearly see yours was worse. | "The saddest part was that you didn’t even bat an eye at her comments, as if they were a regular occurrence. My heart broke for you..." |
In the short time that I was with you, I only saw you smile once and it was when you came out in that black dress with the flowers you liked. I just wanted to tell you that in that moment you shined! In the time that I saw you, you were nothing but courteous and polite. Whatever your grandma thought about your mom, I thought worse about her. Your mother must be doing something right if you, in the age of mouthy adolescence and participation trophies, didn’t let out a single peep to this woman who was being so callously malicious to you.
I am sorry that I know how it feels for people to argue about your weight like you aren’t attached to the other end of it. I am sorry that you are exposed to that environment time and time again. I am sorry that society would rather agree with your grandma than help you understand that you are not your physical appearance. | "I am sorry that society would rather agree with your grandma than help you understand that you are not your physical appearance..." | You are the books you like to read, the friends that make you feel better, the family that loves you for you, and everything else that makes you so uniquely you. I hope you come to my store again with your grandma and I hope that she has changed her ways. |
If not, I promise you and every girl in the future that is in a similar situation, I will not sit idly by and let her or anyone degrade you.
As Always,
xomeghan
As Always,
xomeghan